• Respect for Self & Others
• Personal Respect and Sexual Harassment
• Sexual Harassment

Permission for Student Participation When teaching sensitive subjects such as reproductive health, it is essential to follow state and district guidelines for notification of parents and to provide opportunities for community members to preview materials. Teaching about reproductive health requires teachers to be sensitive to the needs of adolescents and to feel comfortable with the subject matter. Treat the subject respectfully and model appropriate language for your students. Accurate information about the reproductive organs and their functions plays a key role in encouraging students to make healthful choices about the body processes and the questions that arise during puberty.

Respect for Self and Others

During adolescence, young people are expected to develop more complex interpersonal skills. An ability to show respect for others and for self enables adolescents to succeed in the adult world. Everyone deserves respect as an individual and as a human being.

Respect is defined as "holding someone in high esteem or regard." Respect is shown through actions that exhibit consideration for self and others. Actions that show respect for others include:

• listening attentively
• not interrupting
• talking about problems
• being honest about thoughts and feelings
• using assertive communication skills, such as direct eye contact and I-messages

I-messages
I-messages provide an assertive way to express thoughts and feelings while being sensitive to others. I-messages follow this formula: I (feel, need, want or believe) when (state the situation) because (tell the reason).

Self-respect
Self-respect means taking care of oneself physically, mentally and socially. Self-respect involves practicing positive health habits such as:

• eating well
• exercising regularly
• honestly expressing thoughts and feelings
• doing enjoyable activities
• spending time alone
• spending time with friends and family

Personal Respect and Sexual Harassment

Respect for self and others is the foundation for healthy relationships and a healthy society. Respect is defined as "holding someone in high esteem or regard." Respect is shown through actions that exhibit consideration for self and others.

Self-respect means taking care of oneself physically, mentally and socially. Self-respect involves practicing positive health habits such as eating well, exercising regularly, honestly expressing thoughts and feelings to others, accepting individual strengths and weaknesses, spending time alone, doing enjoyable activities and spending time with friends and family.

Actions that show respect for others include:

• listening attentively
• not interrupting
• talking about conflicts
• being honest about thoughts and feelings
• using assertive communication skills

Everyone deserves respect as an individual and as a human being. Characteristics such as race, sexual orientation, gender, age, physical appearance and level of ability should be respected; they must never be used as a basis for ridicule or discrimination.

The Continuum of Respect
When considering interactions between individuals, consider the continuum of respectful and disrespectful actions, illustrated below. Respectful actions are at the top of the continuum -- "consent" and "pressure." Actions below "pressure"  (#2) constitute disrespectful and increasingly aggressive behavior. Aggressive behavior is motivated by the desire for power and control.

1. Consent means the actions are mutually agreeable. For example, two people may both want to kiss and hug.
2. Pressure means one person wants to engage in an action, but the other person does not or is unsure. For example, one person may want to go parking, but the other person doesn't. In cases of disagreement, it is important for both people to respect the other's feelings and choices.
3. Coercion means one person uses emotional or physical threats to get what he or she wants. For example, one person may threaten to break up with another if he or she doesn't have sex.
4. Abuse means emotional or physical attack. For example, one person may constantly belittle or assault another to gain more power in the relationship.

Sexual Harassment

Sexual harassment is coercive behavior because it involves the abuse of power for sexual ends or the creation of a hostile environment. In abuse of power, sexual harassment consists of unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors or other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature as a condition of instruction or employment (Frazier, Cochran and Olson 1995). Only a person with power over another can commit this kind of harassment.

In a hostile environment, someone acts in sexual ways that interfere with a person's performance at school or in the workplace. Sexual harassment is illegal. Both males and females can be victims of sexual harassment.

The Impact of Sexual Harassment
Peer-to-peer harassment is one of the most widespread forms of violence in schools. Among students, sexual harassment occurs most often when boys are in groups. Their motives often may be to heighten their group status by denigrating girls, rather than based on any particular animosity toward an individual. Harassment in schools has been typically ignored and dismissed as teasing or traditional "boys will be boys" behavior. Researchers have found that such actions lead to girls becoming more "subordinated and less autonomous. The behavior controls girls through intimidation, embarrassment or humiliation" (Herbert 1989).

A study of 1,632 students in grades 8-11 indicated:

• 85% of girls and 76% of boys reported sexual harassment experiences.
• 25% of girls and 10% of boys reported sexual harassment by school employees.
• Only 7% of students reported the sexual harassment to a teacher; 62% told a friend; 23% told a family member.

Sexual Harassment vs. Flirting
This chart contrasts sexual harassment and flirting.

Sexual Harassment makes the receiver feel bad powerless demeaned ugly	Flirting makes the receiver feel good in control flattered and happy pretty/attractive
Sexual Harassment results in negative self-esteem	Flirting results in positive self-esteem
Sexual Harassment is perceived as one-sided demeaning degrading invading	Flirting is perceived as reciprocal flattering open a compliment
Sexual Harassment is unwanted power-motivated illegal	Flirting is wanted equality-motivated legal

Responding to Sexual Harassment
When students feel themselves to be sexually harassed, their first step is to request the harasser(s) to stop. Harassers may not be aware of the impact of their behavior. The request to stop may be made in person or in writing.

If the harassment does not stop, people who feel harassed should keep a record of the actions (time, place and names of observers). Students should report the harassment to a counselor, teacher or principal. In the workplace, the report should be made to the supervisor or manager of the person who is doing the harassing.

The following steps provide a summary of ways to deal with sexual harassment.

• Say no, clearly.
  • Say that you don't want this attention.
  • Say that the behavior is offensive.
• Tell someone (teacher, parent, friend).
• Realize that harassment is not your fault.

Teachers and other adults should be alert to the following symptoms that may indicate sexual harassment or abuse.

• chronic anxiety
• concentration problems
• withdrawn or depressed behavior
• insomnia
• body image problems
• fear of coming to school
• wanting to drop courses