• Elements of Self-esteem
• Improving Self-esteem
• Personal Standards

Elements of Self-esteem

Self-esteem is the feeling people have about themselves. It reflects individual perception of personal traits and abilities. People with high self-esteem regard themselves in a positive way. Self-esteem affects a young person's ability to make health-enhancing choices; therefore, enhancing self-esteem is a crucial step toward positive health practices and good mental health.

Four Elements of Self-esteem
Self-esteem is affected by the ability to:

• recognize and accept one's strengths
• achieve a sense of belonging
• develop a sense of power
• have and imitate positive role models

Recognizing and Accepting Strengths
Each person has special abilities and traits. These strengths make an individual unique. While everyone has areas that need improvement, young people need to identify and use their strengths. Identifying strengths and using them can bring enjoyment and a feeling of accomplishment. Classroom activities and experiences that allow young people to identify their own strengths, traits and talents create an opportunity for increasing self-esteem.

Creating a Sense of Belonging
Relationships that are established at home, in the school or the community help young people feel they are part of a group. The affiliation and satisfaction young people experience within groups contribute to feelings of security and support. A sense of belonging can be developed through class activities that allow students to participate within a group. The opportunity to share ideas and capabilities and to gain personal recognition contributes to increased self-esteem.

Developing a Sense of Power
Students who have a sense of power believe they have the ability to affect their own lives and the lives of others. Armed with this power, they are able to take charge and make changes. They feel capable of taking the risks necessary to reach their goals and develop independence. Class activities that increase recognition of personal and social competence build self-esteem.

Having and Imitating Positive Role Models
Young people need standards to give direction and meaning to their lives. These standards are developed through experiences within the family and peer groups and with other people who are significant in their lives. When they emulate ideals such as honesty, dependability and loyalty, young people become confident of their ability to distinguish between right and wrong. Therefore, they are able to take responsibility for their actions and to model standards for behavior. Self-esteem is increased when students are given the opportunity to examine and express their standards and aspirations.

Improving Self-esteem

Self-esteem can be improved in many ways. Individuals can take an active role in working to improve their self-esteem. Some specific actions can be related to specific elements, or conditions, of self-esteem.

Addressing Specific Elements of Self-esteem
Many of these actions overlap or involve more than one condition.

Sense of Belonging

• creating friendships that help us feel good about ourselves

Personal Assets and Strengths

• celebrating our strengths
• taking care of our physical health
• having a positive attitude

Sense of Power

• improving our weaknesses
• setting challenging but realistic goals
• realizing we control our own actions

Sense of Models

• choosing positive role models
• making decisions based on our own beliefs

Positive Self-talk
Positive self-talk is another avenue to improving self-esteem. Each person carries on an ongoing internal dialogue. This internal dialogue consists of positive and negative messages about the people and events in our world, including ourselves. If the dialogue is primarily negative, it is difficult to feel good about ourselves. We can monitor our self-talk to determine whether it is mostly positive or negative.

If we experience many negative messages, we can use a technique called "thought stopping." Thought stopping means that when we begin having negative messages about ourselves, we mentally say Stop. Then we switch to a positive message. For example, if I am berating myself for having forgotten to set my alarm, I may say, "You are so stupid for forgetting. How can you have done that?" Stop. "I can be flexible. This is a good chance to realize that it is okay to make a mistake."

Personal Standards

Teens need standards (a sense of models) to give direction and meaning to their lives. Standards are developed through experiences with family, peers and other significant models. Many standards are "universal." or valued by almost everyone. Honesty, loyalty, self-respect, dependability and responsibility are examples of universal standards. Although many standards are universal, the degree to which standards are prized depends on a person's background, culture and religion.

Teens often adopt the standards of people they admire, whether they are family members or rock stars. The development of personal standards is an ongoing task for every individual.
Awareness and understanding of personal, family and social standards helps teens make decisions and judgements consistent with what they feel is important (a sense of power). Mental health is compromised when decisions do not reflect the personal standards of the individual. In other words, we must practice what we preach. Teens with a strong sense of standards are confident in their ability to tell right from wrong and are able to take responsibility for their actions.

The most difficult decisions are those in which several standards of behavior are in conflict. For example, one friend asks another her opinion of a new haircut. If the friend doesn't like the hair cut, she must make a choice between being kind and being honest. The choice is difficult, because the friend believes both standards are important. Understanding personal standards is the first step. Sometimes the standards must be prioritized as well.